10 Binge-watching strategies to get you through your vasectomy recovery
So you’ve decided to get the snip, eh? Well the procedure itself is the easy part! 20 to 30 minutes of small talk while someone fiddles with your crown jewels and then you’re done. And your vasectomist has got you covered on the recovery process. Now, let’s not kid ourselves, at some point you’re going to want to get back in shape, but for now it’s all about that sweet, sweet R&R (with some help from a bag of frozen peas).
So to help get you through those 48 hours of couch time, we’ve put together a few binge strategies to help you plan the perfect recovery playlist.
- The Marvel Movie Marathon
Let’s be real, we’re living in the golden age of the nerd. If you’re into comics, or superheroes in any way, there’s never been a better time to be alive. We’ve got more merch today than there ever was when we were kids, and we get to see a new super powered someone on the big screen almost every month. The next big thing on the slate though is Captain Marvel, the pre-cursor to the next Infinity Wars movie. So why not take the opportunity to brush up on your MCU lore, and watch all the movies back to back?! You can watch them in the order they were released, or you can be an absolute legend and watch everything Marvel has released in the order it happened in the Marvel Universe! Live the nerd dream my friend.
2. Make your couch an animation nation!
You know how your work mates are always going on and on about some random animated show on Netflix and keep quoting “Rick and Morty” even though they know you haven’t watched it? Well now is the perfect time to catch up on all those pop culture references that everyone else keeps making. Binge your way through Rick & Morty, Bojack Horseman, Archer, Bob’s Burgers and then get a step ahead of the curve and check out Bigmouth. Between all of them there’s enough dick and balls jokes to have you laughing off any residual pain you might still be feeling through the frozen peas.
3. Relive the glory days
If you’re a fan of sports, why not take the opportunity to re-watch all the highlights of your team. Go back and revisit every Grand Final they’ve ever won (depending on your team this might not take very long). Relive all the World Cups, the Super Bowls, the Grand Slams that gave you goosebumps the first time around. And remember, the only reason you’re not there winning championships right now is because you took one for the team and you’re benched for the rest of the season.
4. Faster & Furiosa
There’s a lot of awesome film franchises out there that have more than enough movie to keep you comfortably entertained for 48 hours. The Fast & The Furious series probably have enough films now to last you until your next birthday. Or you can look at some that have been reinvigorated recently, like Mad Max. But there’s no shame in going back to old classics like the Rocky series, or Indiana Jones, James Bond, Die Hard or even Lord of the Rings. Take a trip down memory lane, or get reacquainted familiar favourites.
5. The Movies You “Should” Watch
We all know those movies, the ones that everyone puts on the “greatest of all time” lists, but that we’ve never actually gotten around to watching. Films like Citizen Kane, Casablanca, 12 Angry Men, Glengarry Glen Ross, and more. Make your own list before your snip and make sure you’ve got a stack of them to make your way through. And if you get bored with any of them, just start live tweeting your criticisms. “Rosebud? More like snooze-bud, am I right @CitizenKane”
6. Go for the balls
There are plenty of sportsball TV shows available that you can easily sink several hours into. If you haven’t seen Last Chance U, it’s a great series that follows college football teams that don’t otherwise receive a lot of coverage. But if you’re looking for something more plot driven, there’s always options like Friday Night Lights. If you’re after some laughs, there’s Eastbound & Down, and if you’re after all of the above there’s always WWE. But let’s be honest, if you really want to nail this R&R, you should be watching Ballers.
7. Sit yourself down for some sit-coms
They say laughter is the best medicine (although as Hannah Gadsby points out, penicillin might be a better life choice), so why not invest in some therapy courtesy of these clever comedies. With streaming services it’s even easier to catch up on all the comedies you might not have had time for in recent years. There’s underrated favourites like “Don’t Trust the B — — in Apt. 23.” It stars a pre-Jessica-Jones Krysten Ritter as the eponymous lead and James Van Der Beek playing James Van Der Beek as he auditions for Dancing with the Stars. Or Better off Ted which is remarkably relatable for anyone who has ever worked in an office environment.
There’s old classics like Black Books or The IT Crowd, for those who are fans of the uniquely absurdist humour that the British do so well.
Or, for more distinctly American fare you can try and get through all of the majesty that is Parks and Recreation and support your viewing by consuming a rasher of bacon every time Ron Swanson is on screen.
8. Find the final frontier
Let’s be honest, if you’re not into superheroes, there’s a good chance you’re into space. This means you can start with Star Trek: The Original Series and see how many captains you can get through while you ignore the trouble with your own aching tribbles. Alternatively, you can check out a galaxy far, far away and work your way through the Star Wars, either in order or release, or in-universe chronology. The choice is yours!
9. Go au naturale!
If you’ve got the house to yourself, why not embrace the elements by getting in touch with your wild side. By which we mean, of course, watching everything Sir David Attenborough has ever produced. Dear old David has been producing top notch since 1969, so you’ve got a hell of a back catalogue to get through.
10. Explode your way to recovery!
If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that the number of explosions in a movie is directly proportionate to how awesome it is. Therefore it only makes sense to watch your way through the ‘splodiest films of all time (a.k.a Michael Bay’s filmography). Start with the Transformers series, and then make a detour to join The A Team, before showing those aliens who’s boss in Independence Day, with a big budget finale courtesy of The Dark Knight.
Or maybe you don’t need any advice and, like us, “Your List” on Netflix is populated with enough content to see you through to the eventual heat death of the universe.
Either way just make sure you follow your vasectomist’s advice (so you’re not still on the couch 28 days later) and take the opportunity to put your feet up, because hey, you’ve definitely earned it!
